Damaged Goods?

God has placed on my heart that it is time to share a bit about my life to you all and to tell you about how Jesus has saved me.
 I was born on July 27th 1956 and I was born 3 months premature weighting in @2lbs 13oz. and I then dropped down to 2lbs9oz.that's the start of Jesus watching over me. Moving into childhood for whatever reasons I became the victim of every type of abuses that can be inflicted on someone by many family members for many years. all the abuse went on and on and I learned to stuff all my hate,anger,emotions deep sown in my soul. then as I grew I used drugs and food to comfort my pain being the one who could party harder and eat more then anyone else. and still thru all this Jesus waited for me. As a "adult" I lived and learned those lessons we all get to learn and then met my first wife Mary and we got married and my life became normal in many ways we raised our daughter Melissa and both of us worked hard to make it. Making mistakes along the way and still Jesus waited.
In 1986 April Mary and I had been attending a Assembly of God church in Racine,WI. and we had been going for awhile and we had been talking to the Pastor about being born again so he came over to out home  and we both got saved the same day and at the same time that afternoon. We worked at being Christians and I placed God in my heart but as the parable goes about the seed and the soil Gods word flourished for awhile but I placed Him in a box from which I could work with Him when it was easy for me I had not allowed God to work with me. In 1989 I fell and I fell badly and still Jesus didn't turn away from me I then clinged to Him firmly till my time of trouble was over and by 2010 I had become disabled, I became a caregiver to many family members that I had seen get sick, very sick and then I had to bury those 11 family,friends with two of them passing away in my arms. My Mom in law Rita in 2005 and Mary my wife in 2010. After Mary went Home to Jesus I wandered around asking God many times why and now what am I going to do and I tried to cope with my grief with food and weed again as I had in my past. but by Oct.2010 I had reached my lowest point and I stopped doing all the self destructed things I was doing to myself and in Nov.2010 I reached out to Jesus for three nites I prayed,pleaded,cried out for Jesus to help me to save me from all the loneliness,pain,huge amount of grief and I told Him that I can't do this anymore living in such a place of hurting. I then told Jesus that I give up! I am done! I can't live anymore by my own ways and that if He doesn't have a plan for me then take me Home! I didn't want to live anymore. I surrender my soul,my life,my body,my mind to you Jesus Christ and all I am is yours to use,guide,help and lead as you my Lord and Savior sees fit. For three nites I did this and by the third nite a warmth like never before came over me like warm honey flowing slowly over me from my head down and  I heard a voice tell me that "Carl I made you and formed you in your Mother's womb and I hear your cries and I have plans for you." Jesus I cried Thank You! and from that place on I changed everything looked fresh,clean,crisper and as I walked in the Love of Jesus I became a new man  and A man that was wanting to serve God anyway He chooses. I then prayed for a helper, a wife that God would want me to be with and I was told to pray about everything that I wanted in a wife and I did. I asked God  and told Him every feature,how she would be funny,spiritual strong, a woman of God with a heart that seeks to bless others,her hair color,eye color,how tall I mean I ready prayed about all she was to be . And then I waited and on Feb.4th2011 I met Laura online at ChristianMingle.com God's answer to my prayers YES He does Listen Folks. and we started to email and talk on the phone and on March 7th @ 342pm in McHenry courthouse in Woodstock,IL. we became husband and wife brought together by God and the story that follows is another one.
But getting back to my title Damaged Goods the facts are this no matter how bad your childhood may have been or how horrible your life is now Jesus can make a way for you.He can take all your rage,pain hurts, sufferings and use all your memories and use them to show His Power of Love and give you a new heart "behold I make all things new." Jesus said it and that's the truth and you may ask why does God allow all the horror that happens to us as kids happen. I don't know why but God has taken all my memories and all my anger,rage against them and He has healed me and used me to help others and by me having gone thru all that I have I can relate and share with you all and maybe show someone the Love and forgiveness Of Jesus. Amen